Emotion regulation refers to the ability to monitor, evaluate, and modify emotional reactions to achieve one’s goals or maintain psychological well-being. Impulse control is the ability to resist urges or temptations that might be harmful or socially inappropriate. Both depend on brain systems and psychological processes that work together to manage emotional and behavioral responses.
Why Some People Struggle to Self-Regulate
Brain Function Differences
The prefrontal cortex (PFC) is the part of the brain responsible for planning, decision-making, and inhibition of impulses. The amygdala and limbic system drive emotional responses, especially fear, anger, or pleasure. In people with addiction, depression, or borderline personality disorder, the connection between the PFC and limbic system can become weakened or dysregulated, meaning emotions or impulses “take over” before reasoning can intervene.
Early Life Experiences and Trauma
Chronic stress, neglect, or trauma during childhood can shape the brain’s stress response system. The nervous system may remain in a state of hyperarousal or emotional reactivity, making regulation harder. Secure attachment and supportive relationships, on the other hand, strengthen emotion-regulation capacities.
Learned Coping Patterns
Some people learn maladaptive coping behaviors, such as substance use or self-harm, to escape emotional pain. These behaviors temporarily regulate emotions but worsen long-term regulation by avoiding rather than processing emotions.
Genetic and Biological Factors
Genetic predispositions influence how neurotransmitters like serotonin, dopamine, and GABA regulate mood and impulse control. Dysregulation in these systems can make it harder to manage impulses or emotions.
Why Some People Can Regulate Better
Resilient individuals often have stronger prefrontal-limbic connectivity, meaning their reasoning and emotional systems communicate effectively. They also possess emotion literacy (awareness of feelings and their causes), supportive relationships, and safe attachments that model self-regulation. Practice with mindfulness, cognitive restructuring, or healthy coping mechanisms further strengthens their capacity to regulate.
How People Can Learn Regulation
Even those with dysregulation, such as in addiction, borderline personality disorder, or suicidal crises, can retrain the brain and body through therapy and practice. Effective approaches include:
– Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) – builds emotional regulation, distress tolerance, and mindfulness.
– Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) – helps identify and challenge distorted thoughts fueling impulsive actions.
– Mindfulness and ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) – enhance awareness of emotions without acting on them.
– Somatic regulation – grounding, breathing, and body-awareness techniques that calm the nervous system.
In Summary
People who struggle with emotional or impulse control are not “weak” but are often facing neurological, psychological, and environmental challenges that disrupt the brain’s regulation systems. With consistent therapy, healthy support, and practice, these systems can be strengthened—allowing individuals to respond to emotions instead of being controlled by them.
References
He, Z., Lu, F., Sheng, W., Han, S., Long, Z., Chen, Y., … & Chen, H. (2019). Functional dysconnectivity within the emotion-regulating system is associated with affective symptoms in major depressive disorder: a resting-state fMRI study. Australian & New Zealand Journal of Psychiatry, 53(6), 528-539.
Li, Y., Hou, X., Wei, D., Du, X., Zhang, Q., Liu, G., & Qiu, J. (2017). Long-term effects of acute stress on the prefrontal-limbic system in the healthy adult. PLoS One, 12(1), e0168315.
Morris, R. W., Sparks, A., Mitchell, P. B., Weickert, C. S., & Green, M. J. (2012). Lack of cortico-limbic coupling in bipolar disorder and schizophrenia during emotion regulation. Translational psychiatry, 2(3), e90-e90.
Qiu, N., Li, S., Wu, J., Becker, B., Peng, W., Li, K., … & Yao, D. (2025). Prefrontal-limbic dysconnectivity underlies emotion regulation deficits in depressed adolescents with anxiety disorder. medRxiv, 2025-10.
